Think back to your first day of work. Do you remember that blank look of sheer confusion you had throughout the day? Your coworker approached, “Hi! Great to meet you, welcome aboard! Can you calendar me in for a 1:1 to talk about our c-level action plan for the all hands?” That’s when you learned it only got worse if you smiled in acknowledgement. Even after you’ve been at a company for years, business jargon continues to invade your day and ruin productivity. When your boss asks, “Can we take a step back for a second?” what he really means is, “Wow, you have completely gone in the wrong direction.” These kind of interactions are not only annoying, but studies from the Foundation of Office Language show that such interactions also significantly reduce productivity and morale amongst employees.
Our engineers have worked tirelessly for the past two years to fight this epidemic that has plagued efficiency in the business world. Today, we are launching a new alpha feature in Google Apps for Business, Jargon-Bot. Jargon-Bot will automatically detect business jargon or business speak and provide you with real-time translation in plain English. Yes, simple, plain English. Jargon-Bot has been integrated across the entire suite of Google Apps so that next time you are on an IM chat with your manager, it will help you recognize and say no to unrealistic expectations. When you receive an e-mail from your supplier, Jargon-Bot won’t let you get ripped off by demystifying the fine print. And even when you’re on a Google+ Hangout with your accounting team, jargon-bot will be by your side, so you don’t break your e-reader when you have to help “close the books.”
We’ve been alpha testing Jargon-Bot internally for the past 6 months, and the results have been dramatic: a 10X increase in employee productivity, a 35.4% increase in worker productivity, and IM conversations that are 90% shorter. Best of all, meetings which are normally an hour long, now average just 17 minutes because people actually understand each other.
Turn on Jargon-Bot today and avoid making a fool of yourself.
P.S. Happy April Fool's Day